I love this letter!
Dear Tech Support,
I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. I soon noticed that this
program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every
time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1.
Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document,
and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This
program also contained applications I did not wish to install,
such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0.
Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer
run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse
1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS
Money, with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing"
and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll get a reminder
telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for
the aforementioned items. I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0
numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I
get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal"
will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!
is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Horse
1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program."
It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its'
creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on
the box. Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are
a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by
the applications Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1, you may run C: \HIRE
HELP, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial
applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment
to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being
run again on startup. A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer
for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water
7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again,
a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will have attached
itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer
of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1",
which we admit is extremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise,
Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch
Ears on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running
smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll
This is Julie's blog.
Julie is an Assistant here at Smartipony, and just started formal riding in May, 2011. We thought you might like to read about her adventures, struggles, and triumphs.
Trotting Along 9/14/11
Stories of a New Rider - 2
A few weeks after my first riding experience, it was time for my 2nd lesson. I was a bit
nervous as we arrived at the stables, wondering how long the soreness
would last this time. It took almost a week after my first time on
Candy before I could finally get out of bed without groaning and could
finally walk again without a bow-legged stride (much to the enjoyment
and mirth of my friends and family). I felt like I had gotten in a fight
with a herd of angsty children carrying 2x4 boards or run over by a
fleet of Tonka Trucks, and lost miserably. I wasn't
looking forward to rolling myself out of bed and down the hallway just
to get around again, but knew that my muscles would eventually stop
screaming at me after every ride.
We got Candy ready and walked
down to the arena, I watched as Sara mounted with ease and then seemed
to fly around the arena on Candy's back, perfectly at ease, perfectly in
sync with Candy, riding as though Candy was just an extension of her
body. As she rode she called out questions, "Did you see how I did
this?" "Did you see how I did that?" Try as I might, I just couldn't
see any of her ques, and came to the conclusion, that Candy must be
psychic. I told her as much when she finally came over to rest near the
shady corner where I was sitting. She laughed, and assured me that no, she
was in fact using ques, jumped of Candy and told me to get on up.
climbed up, and adjusted myself in the saddle, worrying for a moment
that we would have a repeat of last time. To my immense pleasure, when I
nudged Candy with my leg, she actually started moving! We walked
around for a bit, and Sara taught me a series of exercises to do while
walking. They are designed to not only help stretch out the rider, but
also to build confidence and show how far you can lean in the saddle.
They are done by stretching one arm over the head leaning first to one
side, then to the other, and then reaching down and touching the toe.
Next you lean back as far as you can, still with your arm above your
head. Finally, you lean forward, stretching the same arm forward as far
as you can reaching towards the horses ears. Repeat these steps with
the other arm. After doing my stretches and walking around for a while
feeling the rhythm of the horses movement, Sara told me to pick up the
trot, and after only a few minutes of struggling was actually able to
get Candy to trot! We trotted around the arena, feeling completely
ridiculous and uncoordinated, completely, off balance and not even a
fraction as graceful as Sara looked while she was riding. As my
frustration grew, the more uncoordinated I felt until Candy tripped
minutely, my bottom bounced twice in the saddle and then all of a sudden
everything clicked, the light bulb came on and the rhythm of the trot
fell into place. I couldn't help but grin as Sara said, "Wow! Now THAT
looks good!" I continued trotting around the arena and after a few
minutes Sara asked, "Where are you going, why aren't you on the rail?" I
answered "I have no idea, where ever Candy wants to go, but I look
good!!!" Sara laughed, as my stamina ran out and Candy and I came to a
stop directly in front of her, me aching and gasping for air, but
smiling, quite pleased with myself!
Stories of a New Rider - 1 8/5/11
I have learned that seeing and experiencing things through a
new person's eyes may make things that seem ordinary, everyday, and possibly
mundane that much more exciting. Taking a guest that has never been to
Pike's Fish Market in Seattle all of a sudden becomes an adventure, visiting
China Town and Pier 39 for what seems like the one hundredth time is now
exciting, and even riding a horse, something you might have done since you were
a child, now is a new experience, a challenge even, as you find ways to explain
and demonstrate skills that are second nature and answer dozens upon dozens of
My name is Julie and I am that new rider. Chances are as an experienced
rider you have talked to countless people who could "ride" but once
you got them on a horse it became painfully apparent that was not the
case. I hate to say it, but I was also that rider. I am 28 years old now
and had my first experience on a horse while in girl scouts "riding"
for a merit badge, but in all honesty it was really just sitting on an old and
tired retired horse being led around on a lunge line. When I was older I
had the opportunity to go trail riding in Upper Bidwell Park in Chico, CA, this
time on a horse that was trained to be a perfect trail horse, spooked at
absolutely nothing, and followed the horse in front of her at all times.
my friend Sara asked if I wanted to go ride with her in early April of 2011, of
course I jumped at the chance and was excited to show her all of my
skills! We got out to the barn, got her mare, Candy ready, stepped on the
mounting block, mounted with ease, gave Candy a small nudge, and then....
nothing. I nudged her again; she turned her head and looked at me.
"Kick her!" Sara said, "Go!" "I'm trying!" I
replied through gritted teeth, and finally to my excitement Candy took a step
and then another, and then to my horror walked straight to Sara and stopped, as
if to say, "Come on, I brought her back, get this newbie off me!"
Sara laughed, gave Candy's rump a slap and sent us on our way.
In my defense, a fact I didn't understand or appreciate at that time, Candy is
an almost 10 year old half Percheron/Thoroughbred (some people refer to that as
a Warmblood). And if you are familiar with the differences in horses
(Coldblood vs. Hotblood vs. Warmblood) then you will know and appreciate that I
tell you that while Candy can get up and go if she feels like it, the operative
phrase is "if she feels like it." Candy tends to follow more of
her Draft side than the antics of the high strung Thoroughbreds. She will
not do anything unless she believes you and more importantly trusts you.
That first day riding, I lacked the skill to convince her that I actually meant
anything, and because she can lean on the lazy side if she is not in the mood,
I exerted a lot of energy going nowhere fast.
All of my excitement at being able to show off a bit left with a rush and was
replaced with frustration and determination as I realized that the
"skills" I thought I had, did not exist. I am not sure how long
I rode that first day, but my stubborn determination did not let me stop until
I had more or less got her to walk where I wanted to go and even got her
trotting after I was told "If YOU can't get her to trot you don't get to
trot. I can't do it for you!" Sheer exhaustion made me stop finally,
but I was more or less happy and realized I had my work cut out for me. I
also learned my first and one of the most valuable lessons that day, "When
in doubt, the answer is always, use more leg!" I have come along way
in the three months since I first rode Candy, and I still have a long way to
go, but I hope you will enjoy sharing with me my triumphs, my struggles, what I
have learned, and hopefully you will be able to glean a little bit of knowledge
as well, or at least get a good chuckle as you remember your own experiences
with learning to ride.
You can see a picture of Candy on our About Us page.
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